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Letters From Some Of Jaenet's Friends

Dearest Jaenet,

It was in 1996 at my brother David and your sister Galla's wedding that I first had the pleasure of meeting you.

Do you remember: We spent the day before the wedding at the Biosphere? Looking back, it seems more than appropriate to have met a person as unique and intelligent as yourself in such a surreal and experimental setting.

It was a few years later when you moved to LA to attend USC cinema school that our paths intersected again.

At the time, my husband Charles and I were sharing a house with our dear friend John Dawson in Pacific Palisades. John was and important scientist int he field of plasma physics. You, dear Jaenet, were the only person I knew who, upon learning this, knew exactly what plasma physics was and could talk immediately about heat and the stars and fusion without missing a beat.

You had a creative mind, which seemed as equally at home in the arts an in science. When you came for dinner, we would talk forever about our mutual backgrounds in both dance and art - and our love of animals.

I remember you always infused your words with humor and charm. And for one so pretty and smart, you were humbly self-effacing.. Once I told you that John and Charles and I had tickets to an upcoming Bobby Short concert at UCLA's Royce Hall. Your face lit up and you said you loved Bobby Short and had seen him in NY many times. A few times you had met him backstage as well, and each time he had recognized you and remembered your name. You said this with utter astonishment, as if it had never occurred to you how utterably memorable you were.

I also want to thank you or the time we spent collaborating on "Night and Day," one of the short films you made at USC. Thank you for choosing me and my collages as the subject matter. Thank you for taking a chance on a slender story, rich in imagery. It was old-fashioned and contemporary. it was comical and poignant. It was sweet and cutting edge. It was a lot like you.

Much love always, Patty
April 5, 2011
I am so sorry....she was a beautiful butterfly for whom the world was just too hard! Our prayers go with you. Peggy
Peggy Feldt (Santa Fe, NM)

April 6, 2011
What shocking news I heard from Jackie. I don't have words to say ,at this point. I had such wonderful times with Jaenet as we rehearsed the reading. I , of course, haven't seen her for awhile and I sympathize with you so very much. If there is a funeral or any way to say "goodbye" and show my respect, please inform me. thank you and Blessings to you and yours, Sheri
Sherri de Avila (Santa Fe, NM)

April 6, 2011
My darling family, I just got the news and do not know what to say.
I can only say im so sorry and please let me know if I can help in any way.
Our prayers are with you,
Always in my heart Deia.
Deia Waldren (Deya, Mallorca, Spain)

April 6, 2011
Darling, dearest Gae and Lars, My heart is beating so fast I can hardly breathe. I cannot even imagine how you feel. I know Jaenet always had issues to deal with and that she was a very troubled girl and had threatened this before but never imagined it could really happen. You did everything in your power to aid her and can only believe she just had no more energy to go on. Her journey was finished. Bless her memory and the joys you shared. Only time will heal. Please give my heartfelt condolences to Mairie and Galla. It is just too sad to speak. Love and strength, jackie (Tana and family join me)
Dr Jacqueline Waldren (Oxford, England)

April 6, 2011
Dearest Gae,
I heard the sad news this morning from Dan. I know this is a very difficult process to go through, and I just want you to know I am offering prayers on behalf of Janet and your entire family. If there is anything I can do for you Gae, please do not hesitate to ask. Adi Da has given us so much instruction on how to help our loved ones who have passed.
Again my deepest condolences and my prayers are with you.
Eleanor Seeley

April 6, 2011
Dear Gae,
I wasn't sure if I was intruding when I made the offer. I can tell you a few simple things. The most important is to know that she is in an in-between state for three days. Talk to her as if she were present in the room, because in a way, she is still present. Just talk to her of your love and compassion. Reassure her that she is forgiven for everything and that you love her absolutely. She would be struggling and confused because of taking her own life and needs all the compassion and love from her family that you can possibly give. If she had any particular spiritual inclination, you can read to her from spiritual texts that might be of comfort to her. It is important not to demonstrate your sorrow in presence, because she is already confused. The spirit of a deceased one hangs around their body for three days.
People who are in this situation when they die can get stuck in a bardo and the family can be of great assistance. Bring lots of love and light (not speaking of bright lights here, but the light of love) and flowers, and keep her surrounding free of confusion or any familial discord.
In three days approximately the spirit of one who has passed will leave the surroundings and pass onto to the other side. The more that you surround her with love and compassion in these three days, the easier it will be for her to make this final transition.
I am happy to meet with you if you like to tell you of my experience of serving my mothers death. It is a very profound moment to serve one in this transition. It can be and incredible moment of support and love when the family gives freely.
Eleanor Seeley

April 6, 2011
Even as a mother myself, I can find no words to express my sorrow
for you and your family during this heart breaking time. Please know
that my thoughts are with you, that we are burning candles, and that
Ashisha and I will do anything you may ask us now or in the future
to support you.
Carolyn Lake (Santa Fe, NM)

April 7, 2011
My deepest feelings go out to you as a Mom and can't imagine the pain that you have. If I could only do something, but I remember when my husband died, I consoled most everyone because people don't know what to do or say. It's so surreal and out of this world to lose someone like your child. My heart goes out to you in this time and just know that I'm sending my heartfelt warmth to you in all these moments. How absolutely tragic.!! I had some very wonderful talks with Jaenet, before the unsettling time with Betty Smith and her screenplay. And I felt a kind of closeness to her plights. I always bolstered her up the best way I could and positively told her that I believed in her talent and wanted the best for her. I alway tried to be positive. God Bless her! Rest in Peace! My most positive energy comes your way through strong thoughts to calm your moments. Do let me know if you have any gatherings on her behalf. I would love to show my respect. Love to you and Lars, Sheri
Sheri de Avila (Santa Fe, NM)

April 7, 2011
Dear Gae, Lars , Galla and Marie,
We are so sorry to hear the sad news and wish we could be there to give you all hugg's. Its hard to know what to say so just lots of love from this side of the world for all of you.
Talis and Jaime xxx
Talis Waldren (Deia, Mallorca, Spain)

April 8, 2011
Gae -- I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I don't feel I knew Jaenet well enough to write something significant for her, but Claudia and I extend our profoundest sympathy to you.
Jonathan Richards (Santa Fe, NM)
April 8, 2011
Gae, I am terribly, terribly sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how very difficult this must be for you. I am sending loving, warming, healing thoughts in your direction.
Alan Arkin (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
dear Gae, what can I say, except that I am so sorry for this incredible loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. please know that i am here for whatever you all need, that i love you and will be thinking of you all. Please call on me for anything you need.
Much love, much sorrow
Gabriela Cover (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I am so very sorry for your loss. I didn't know Jaenet very well, but I will always remember her kindness and talent.
If you wish, I can forward this message to George Gundrey and Pike Peters for them to send to their siblings Jim Gundrey, and Melora Peters. They were in Jaenet's class at Prep and they and other classmates might want to contribute.
May you be surrounded by peace and love as you grieve the loss of your daughter.
Alexis Avery (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I need to think on this and say a prayer.
I did not know Jaenet well but we connected and at this moment I celebrate her beauty and what I recall as her quirky sense of humor, a smile, a light laugh, a listening ear. Sitting with her at Borders . Curious and talented. I felt like she heard me. I know she is at peace.
Blessings to you all. My love , my heart hurts , I think of you and send you
Roni Rohr (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Dear Gae - Lars and Galla I send you my deepest feelings and love yours inga
Inga Scavenius (Denmark)

April 8, 2011
I recall the eager and driven force she had to be sure to host the best
party EVER for her mother's 70th Birthday... and she succeeded!
Ashisha (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I am so sorry to hear about Jaenet.
I did not know her well, but what I did know was that she touched the earth very lightly. I recognized in her the immense struggle with being in physical form, and I knew in my heart that she really wasn't meant to journey with the rest of us slugs down here too long. She didn't need too.
I truly believe that our spiritual core exists in light-energy and that is where we return. Some of us are meant to touch the human form for a minute or a hundred years. It really doesnt matter how long.
I saw Jaenet's heart so clearly. And now she remains in our memory as a beautiful woman and the angel we all knew it her to be.
Bright blessings to you and your family. In all the emotions around this the most important thing I think is to honor who she was and what she meant to all she touched.
My heart with you and all of us left behind.
David Skolkin (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I am so so sorry to hear this Gae. Aimee and I are both incredibly saddened. Please let me know if there happens to be anything at all I might be able to do to help.
Tim Nagy (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
It's been ages since I managed to write anything. No particular reason, life just happened: Paris friend visiting, trip to London to celebrate friend's birthday, beloved cousin visiting, a spell of spring flu brought about by one layer of fleece too little, too soon. And then death happened. Someone I loved died.
Now here's the thing: these "newsmails" (for lack of better word) are my attempt at having a voice in the world independently of being Jacob's wife and Victoria's mother. They are flippant and opinionated but largely personae based and never really personal, not truly. But this one is a radical departure from usual format, hence should come with a warning that the entertainment factor is zero. It is written not out of a wish to make light of sorrow but because I know no other way of dealing with it than to write.
My friend was beautiful, bright as hell, talented, intense and intensely interesting, charming, funny. She was light and darkness and she was laughter. On my ipod is a recent photo of her with Victoria, both of them laughing at the sheer ridiculous -and ridiculously so- joy of trying to identify unknown herbs used for cooking by smell. And once this sadness subsides, I will take a good look of that photo, being thankful for the memories she left us with.
And in my email in-box is an email from her. A short one, a humorous comment to a paper headline. But thinking I was busy with life, I never got around to replying to it. Now it will never be more than a promise of a conversation that will never happen, and I will regret that always.
For once, there are no attempt to tease out thoughts or laughs. Just a desperate but futile wish that I could give my friend one last hug. Goodbye, my beautiful friend, I will miss you. Rest in peace.
Come next Saturday and I am off to NYC to reconnect with dear friends. Not only do I look forward to seeing my friends (and, to be honest, a change of Fleece & SUV scenery is also welcome), the location is also oddly fitting. My friend loved NYC, yet didn't want to move there because she called it a young person's city. Will sit down at a cafe and take in the gloriously manifold expressions of life in the city and I will think of her, fondly and with love.
Pia Eisenhardt (Oberwil BL, Switzerland)

April 8, 2011
Galla got a hold of me via e-mail this morning on the train to Albuquerque. I have taken the next train back to Santa Fe. I will be in town by noon. If there is anything --at all --you need I am here for you and your family...there is no request too small or too great.
I am so sorry --- I know how much you and everyone who knew Jaenet love her and wanted the best life, love and family could offer her. I will always remember her beautiful smile,
quick witt, and those eyes ---so charming. She could really light up a room. She is loved and she will be missed.
Please do not hesitate to call me for anything you may need.
I love you and your family very much.
Erica Garcia (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Dear Gae:
I am heartbroken to read this...I had no idea Jaenet was battling depression. I wish I had known.
You may or may not know that I lost my daughter Tanya in a similar way. Perhaps we can meet and talk whenever you wish.
It is true that the brightest stars are the ones who have such a difficult time sustaining their light.
My most sincere condolences to you and your family and may your grieving heart find some peace in knowing how loved and loving your daughter was.
Rosemary Zibart (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I am so so sorry. I had not heard about Jaenet and this is so sad. At the moment I have no words. But I remember her so well and will write something soon. She was such a vivid person!
When my husband died I could not talk to people for quite awhile. I don't know how your mourning will go, but if you feel like it, I would love to call.
Please know that I'm thinking about your beautiful daughter and you.
All my love
Judy Upjohn

April 8, 2011
This is devastating news. I feel so much sadness.
Spencer and I would like to add our part to Jaenet's book. I'm in Miami, caring for my mom who's been very ill, in and out the ER. But I will soon, very soon, send you something.
No words can express my sorrow. May the love of your friends and family surround you and fill your heart as you journey down this new road. My thoughts and prayers are with you, dear Gae.
With deepest sympathy
Yami Lucas

April 11, 2011
Jaenet was comfortable with creating new forms of artistic accomplishments. She bore a lot of treasures intact in her imagination. Many worlds were open to her as well as a multitude of interpretations of them. I met Jaenet when her mother was producing the radio show Green Knees. She had a way of giving free rein to a proffered idea, flashing on all sorts of possibilities, changing reality with her own personal magic. If we continue the journey of our earthly life in another form, Jaenet is probably painting some new landscape in a parallel universe.
Merrylin LeBlanc (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I am so deeply saddened by this news. Jaenet was a beautiful, talented and
extremely loveable woman who struggled hard to feel at home in this world.
It is a tragedy that no one seemed to be able to help her in the ways she
needed to stay alive, in spite many trying their best. I know you must be
feeling so many different emotions about this loss and my heart goes out to
you. I will never, ever forget Jaenet. I hope there is something that can
be salvaged from this loss, though right now that is very hard to see. You
have my deepest condolences. If I can be of any help or support to you
please do not hesitate to call on me.
Cedar R Koons, MSW, LISW (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Jaenet was unique, even though so many share her problems with
depression. As I have seen over the years from watching my grandparents
deal with the loss of their daughter, my parents deal with the loss of
my brother, and my good friend deal with the loss of his son, there is
nothing that will ease your pain caused by Jaenet's death. Still, you
have many around you who would help if we could, and if there is
anything I can do to help, you have only to ask.
Fletcher Catron

April 8, 2011
My sincere condolences. Jaenet was a lovely and talented person.
Rusty Storbeck (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. Our deepest condolences are with you as you grieve.
Patricia and Gilbert Danz

April 12, 2011
I met Jaenet through my aunt in Santa Fe. We shared a love of art and we became friends. She was always honest, selfless, caring, fun and supportive. I'm going to miss my friend.
Barry Morrison (Danville, KY)

April 8, 2011
Gae, I am so moved by Jaenet's life and death and I can't even imagine words of consolation. She was such a delicate child, and the sun was too bright for her eyes or skin, in this real world. You are a fine and supportive mother and I love all the books you helped create with Jaenet. She really depended on you to engage her.
I just looked through GROW, GROW, GROW on Tuesday. It was a total coincidence that I picked it up and turned the pages as I was cleaning my library room. I admired the rich colors and illustrations. Jaenet had a real knack to create from a child's point of view. She has a very pure spirit. She was a most complex woman/girl. We seemed to hit heads at times, concerning what is important in life and living without fear and choosing happiness over despair and knowing that everyone is here for a reason. Having come from a family of manic depressives and schizophrenics, I know how hard it is to communicate joy when there is none to be found. It is some kind of highly personal journey.
Jaenet made a difference in our lives. Her fragile hope and delicate balance made her human condition profound for all of us. Looking at her through her art and the manna that it gave her, it seems the purest place and the happiest place where she was able to exist.
I did a 3 day Sally Bardo ritual for her spirit leaving the earth and celebrated her life and her losses. She feels pretty free to me now and I do believe we all come back and we all stay close to those we love even during our departure.
God bless you and Lars and Galla and Maire and Amelia.
This kind of loss is very hard to bear and you are a very strong family.
Call me if you need anything. If you do change your mind about a public memorial for the celebration of Jaenet's life I am sure we could make a lovely marimba celebration for Jaenet.
I love you all dearly,
Sally Blakemore (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Dear Gae and Lars,
My heart aches - I can't help it. My first thought is to call you but I don't want to bring you my tears as I am sure you have an overflowing of them. Jaenet introduced me to you which was and is a blessing. I felt a warmth from the first moment I met her - she is rightly described as a beautiful butterfly. I felt seen and appreciated by her which is in my mind one of the greatest gifts one can recieve from another. I in turn appreciated her artistic flair and delicate presence.
Sending you both my heartfelt love and sympathy in this time of grieving.
Patricia and Gilbert Gross (CA)

April 8, 2011
I am so sad for you and your family. Shocked too though maybe not surprised. I will write something about Jaenet very soon. Can I help you in any way? Please call me, even just to talk if you need a friend's ear. Whatever you need, I'll understand. If I were next to you now, I'd give you the tightest hug, just to know life is real!
Much love and sympathy
Merrylin LeBlanc (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Oh no, dear Gae...I am unable to accept that beautiful, creative Jaenet is gone.
I will have rich memories from when she was part of the deardiaryreadings
and rest assured that I will get them to you.
I'm on overload at the library etc. etc. but I will compose my thoughts.
Sending love, hugs and the deepest condolences,
Elaine Coleman (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Dear Gae, I am so, so sad to hear about your daughter Jaenet. Ashisha told me. My thoughts are with you, and I hope you and your family can be loving support for each other as you move through this difficult time. I can offer my ear as a listener, any time, and particularly, as time goes by, because I know grief comes and goes on it's own schedule. I have found grief to be an unpredictable visitor, over time, so if I can be of help by listening over tea, or a walk, any time in the future, even the distant future, please don't hesitate to call.
Sending you love
Alex Fischer (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
All I can offer is my love, warm thoughts, and prayers.
I asked my meditation group to include Jaenet in our prayers this morning.
Please tell me if there is anything you would like me to do. A visit, some food, errands or ?
Such a beautiful photo.
I imagine her serene in a peaceful place she has chosen for herself.
Zenia Victor (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
Jaenet was simply one of the dearest souls I have known. My association with her was as a frequent visitor to the prep lab at the NMMNH and sometimes to one of our dig sites. She was open and easy to know; you soon felt that you were in the presence of the real person - no pretense and no holding back. We had conversations about the arts, swapped emails, and loaned each other books. She was interesting, intelligent, and pleasant to be around; always smiling, reliably agreeable. I very quickly felt that she was my friend.
Jaenet's curiosity and enthusiasm were contagious, such that we all really looked forward to her visits. She would take photographs and ask endless questions about how things were done and how they worked. Cursory answers were not satisfactory! She wanted details, and sometimes after an acceptable explanation had been obtained, she would try the thing herself.
I will remember Jaenet with warmth and pleasure. She always brought lightheartedness and fun with her. I am so sorry for your loss, and I'm very sad that she will not visit us again. Please accept my most sincere condolences.
Larry Rinehart (Albuquerque, NM)

April 8, 2011
It was a great pleasure to know and work beside jaenet in the little room at the radio station. I loved her laugh and her way of seeing the world, I will miss her greatly
Uncle Dave
Dave Barsky (Albuquerque, NM)

April 9, 2011
I am so sorry for your loss of your darling Jaenet. I wish I had known her.
The photo you sent of her is so beautiful sitting in the wildflowers with
her hair in the breeze. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this
difficult time.
Sending you lots of love and healing energy,
Elaine Claire (Santa Fe, NM)

April 9, 2011
Hello - I am very sorry to hear about Jaenet, whom I knew a bit from Gerry's group, and we had talked some about a video project of hers at one point.
She seemed to be a wonderfully "alive" and sweet person, and I'm sorry to hear that she's gone.
I am very sorry and hope you will get through this - I trust you will. I've seen some of the books you've put out, such as Barbara Mayfield's, and I know you (and Jaenet) can feel happy about putting a lot of beauty into the world.
Hang in there! Best wishes to you.
Jim Terr (Santa Fe, NM)

April 9, 2011
dear gae,
i am so sad to hear that you have lost jaenet.
you, and she, are in my thoughts.
with love
Judie Rosner (Santa Monica, CA)

April 9, 2011
Dear Jaenet,
Yes, I will miss you, but, there is no possible way I can ever say good-bye to you, though I know it will be different, now.
We shared far too much, too much has passed between us, for me to ever not keep you in my heart.
That thought comforts me.
All my love,
Gerry Fried (Santa Fe, NM)

April 9, 2011
Just received the news this morning. I am very sorry and sad. I was just talking yesterday with her past screenplay teacher, David Ross. I had just committed to myself to track her down. I haven't seen either of you since our chance meet at On Your Feet a long time ago. I thought she was in California seeking fame.
I'll try to put something together for your book. After considering her my best friend for so many years, I am very saddened to think that we won't have the chance to put it right again.
My condolences, Jaenet is very missed.
Kurt Hill (Santa Fe, NM)

April 9, 2011
Dearest Gae, I feel grief and sadness over the death of your beautiful daughter, Jaenet. I'm thankful you've let me know this has happened to you and I hope you will call me if ever I can help with listening to the story, as I've been going through the grief for Bill my husband who died last year and remembering the loss of our son Stephen to leukemia in 1987. My daughter Jennifer was born in the same year in New York as your Jaenet. She also suffers depression. One of the things that's helped me is Sister Paula's grief writing seminar at the hospice offices. I told the board yesterday at the NM Book Association this sad news. Cindy Bellinger remembered Jaenet's speaking at a meeting of authors, saying, "Find yourself a writers' group! That will help!" She touched everyone at the meeting, and they send their condolences with mine today.
To write about her ... Jaenet was a light who transformed the room and the people in it like a shaft of beautiful sunshine does on a dull day. The veil between this world and the next is very thin, Rabbi Malka Drucker told me. Jaenet's light will shine through and comfort you all your days. We only need to trust to see it. You, her loving mother and friend of her heart, deserve that forever.
Barbara Beaseley Murphy (Santa Fe, NM)

April 9, 2011
I can only imagine what has gone through your mind, and what will go through it. I think one solace is to know that death only ends what we know on this plane of existence. What really was Jaenet still exists, not just what is in our memories, but the vital force she captured.
So, I will now finish her book, if that is okay with you. I think it can be finished this summer. I believe that is the best memorial I can offer her.
Spencer Lucas (Albuquerque, NM)

April 9, 2011
Jaenet will never ever ever ever ever ever leave me . us.
i tried to explain to Galla a little while ago something that i am not sure you are aware of;
All those redhaired / blond preRaphaelite women that have always cropped up in my drawings all along - with the golden spun silk hair they were all Jaenet. I always saw her as one of the most exquisite creatures i ever beheld with my own eyes. She was so very much a part of me that my idealized vision of beauty was her portrait, through the years, over and over again.
Call me any time day or night for anything or even if you just want to cry. I will just listen and be with you.
I send all my love to Lars, and I send all the prayers and thoughts and energy in pure intensified form out to the universe that if the other side does exist, wherever she is she is at peace , laughing and able finally to know how beautiful she is and how much she has been loved. How much grace and beauty she brought, just walking into a room.
Lois is terribly distraught and her first thought after disbelief was for you and how you are getting through this
I love you and pray you get some rest soon.
all my love
Nicki Blau (New York, NY)

April 9, 2011
Thank you for asking for and taking in all of these letters about Janet. I knew Janet in high school in Santa Fe, and am left with the immensity of the sunshine that emanated from her. She offered a brilliance & sparkle of life that is so rarely found that it leaves the kind of impression that lasts a lifetime. I feel that when people leave us, they offer their beauty to us in a special way, so that we an carry those gifts with us and allow them to be come a part of us. And Janet's gifts include a remarkable innocent warmth and love that I feel was at once disarming and inspiring. I'm lucky to have been able to know her, and I hope that somehow she knows that even though she suffered, she also shone with a brightness & pure joy that most of us would be lucky to touch.
Ted Hall (Boulder, CO)

April 9, 2011
With great integrity, showed me the way, to trust my self, kind as a sister, to your freedom, thanks for the smiles.
Thomas Stefan Scavenius (Somewhere on this Earth)

April 10, 2011
It sounds like a cliché, but it really was true: Jaenet's smile could light up the room. She really connected with people, both the young and the not-so-young. Our grandsons adored her tale of Herman and Poppy's adventure in the woods, and they will carry the story in their memories for the rest of their lives. She was a marvelous hostess at Gae's 70th birthday party. She clearly had put a lot of thought into planning the party so that all of Gae's many and various friends would feel comfortable and welcome. It was an event to be remembered, thanks to the attention she paid to each and every one of the guests. She was a young woman of many talents.
Carolyn Lindberg (Albuquerque, NM)

April 10, 2011
I am so sorry, to hear of this news and I want to express my deep sympathy for you with the loss of your daughter, sister, Auntie, cousin and friend Jaenet.
I am sure this must be such a horrible shock at this time, even though you were aware of Jaenet's feelings and condition.
I did not meet Jaenet, but listened to you Bill and read many times in your family news letters about your love and your concern regarding your beloved daughter. What a lovely picture of her and what a beautiful woman she is!
I know this is a very difficult time for you all and I am heartened for you Bill, with the fabulous work that you do and have done, and "knowing" that Life and Love, live on beyond the loss of the body. I truly wish for you, and your family, that this information, will bring you comfort now, and in the years to come until you see and experience Jaenet's beloved spirit again.
My love and heart go out to you and all of your family.I wish you gentle peace, love,strength and comforting experiences at this time and always regarding your love and connection with Jaenet.
I wish Peace, Love and happiness for Jaenet as she moves through and into greater light and love.May she be held in the comforting arms of love,peace and joy forever.
Please treat yourselves gently, kindly and please let me know If I can support you in any way now or in the future.
Lorea Chilton

April 10, 2011
I send my deepest condolences. My mother-heart goes out to you.
Jaenet was a bright light in my life! We met years ago - maybe it was at a KSFR event - at a time when she was hosting Green Knees. We got to talking about our creative works and she very graciously invited me to read from the Mrs. Iptweet manuscript on the air. This was the very beginning of birthing the story into the world. Jaenet as an Angel presence in the life of the Iptweet book.
Jaenet - a delicate and lovely Beauty.
Barbara Mayfield (Santa Fe, NM)

April 10, 2011
Jaenet's wonderful book, Next Week When I'm Big, continues to be a favorite
of my granddaughter, who asks me to read it again and again every single
time I visit her in Phoenix. This is always followed by: "And you know her(Jaenet)
Meme. Right" To which I always reply: "Yes, isn't that wonderful!"
Carolyn Lake (Santa Fe, NM)

April 10, 2011
I send you sympathy and best wishes at this sad time. Thank you for sharing with us some thoughts from Ja
Jim Wessel Walker

April 10, 2011
Just a quick note to say how sad we are to hear of the news - that Jaenet, once our close neighbor on Gomez street in Santa Fe and the creator of fun children's parties and lover of children and animals has passed to a new place and a new journey. I am sure you must be feeling beyond words.
I saw Jaenet about a month or two ago in Target.
We caught up a bit and chatted...and then we went our ways. I am now glad at least to have seen her around town...sharing a coffee or tea with a friend. I had no idea of her private sufferings. We are living in strangely isolating, violent and somewhat dark times.
It is extremely hard for sensitive and creative souls to process the pain and suffering shown daily in our media.
But thankfully your children's books and her beautiful pictures will live on and her kind and gentle spirit will live on and continue bringing smiles and joy to everyone who sees them.
Take care and know that I am thinking of you and her as I write wishing her a new peaceful and joyous journey full of color and smiles.
Sandy Vaillancourt (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
I knew Jaenet only slightly. We met a number of times and talked about doing a film project together. (I had been a screenwriter for a long time in Hollywood.) I left it to her to contact me about the doggy comedy she wanted to make but although we met a few times, she didn't follow through on it. I would run into her from time to time around Santa Fe and she would tell me what film projects she was involved with or was trying to complete. Im found her to be a very sweet, fragile girl and I am so very sorry to hear of her death.
Jaenet's death has hit me hard. I lost my only child, my son Mario, when he was but thirty years old. That was only ten years ago, so my heart goes out to you and to your whole family. I know what a torment losing a child can be. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your angelic daughter.
Joan Torres (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
In the weekend we got the news - Jaenet past away!
We were choked, had tears in our eyes, and did not understand.
Jaenet stayed with us at Snesere, Denmark, a long weekend, just 4 weeks ago.
We were looking very much forward to the weekend as it was the first time she visit our family.
She made some final takes with Tobias and Lucas, Malte helped her out and the boys enjoyed it a lot. We talked a lot, Danish history, movies, visit Santa Fe, Guggenheim family, Eisenhardt family, had some god food, Italian wine, desert, and lots of coffee. Everybody was happy with our special guest from America. Jaenet was open minded, had a lot of laughs, and we think she enjoyed it as well.
We met Jaenet for the first time when she was making her very personal film project, and where our son Tobias, had a leading roll, and were she let everyone be a part of it in a very positive way.
And now suddenly she's gone, we wish Jaenet all the best.
Jakob, Vibeke, Tobias, Malte, and Lucas Scanvenius (Buggegruppen, Denmark)

April 11, 2011
Dear lady,
We send you all our love and our hearts go out to you; as hard as it is for anyone who loved your daughter to lose her this way, for you this must be unimaginable...
And it seems to me imperative to tell you how much your light in this world signifies to us your friends as does Jaenet's; both of you brilliant and loving and luminous.
Please do send us the piece written about and for Jaenet and the book to be of and for her; we would like to be part of remembering her.
all our love,
Sarah and Jad
Sarah and Jad Davis (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
Jaenet as difficult as she could be sometimes she was my best friend. She taught me
more about patients, forgiving and to see people for who they are, not what they are. I love you
Jaenet and you will always be my best friend....She is happy now.
Frank Vandiver (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
We have lost a kind, beautiful spirit.
Jaenet was a star in the "Dear Diary Readings" of the early 2000s. The benefit for Santa Fe Film Festival was a group effort to support the Santa Fe Film Center; Looking much like the teenager whose diary musings she shared (her own), she presented a charming monologue. She energetically promoted the event. I got the feeling that she poured heart and soul into whatever endeavor she'd chosen.
When I think of Jaenet, I remember her lovely smile, especially the expression with which she presented a handmade silk scarf she'd made. A surprise birthday present!
Our lives were never closely intertwined, but I do recall being in a screenwriting class with her, held at St. John's College nearly a decade ago. Her scripts were engaging, witty and fast-paced. I only wish I'd been able to read the drafts-in-progress as they developed.
Thank you, Jaenet for bringing sunshine into my life. I cherish the time that we were friends.
Elaine Coleman (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
i am sooo shocked i couldn't finish writing last e-mail. i couldn't find any words.
every time when she visited here we had great time
i have seen her tears sometimes.
and she talks about you all the time. my mom this my mom that
and your marimba lesson. and your publishing company
i feel very fortunate to know her i am so grad i met her and kept in touch with her.
i have my black and white student film i shot with jaenet. i would like to show you. let me send it to you.
i am sending you my student film by website call
so when you receive mail from this site please just click on down load. then it will down load on your computer then you can watch it.
about painting those are belong to you so i should find way to return to you.
i loved jaenet so much
this is oldest photo of jaenet i have. i visited jaenet in Manhattan when i was in up state New York. she took me to this Italian restaurant in upper west side. it was very close to where she used live. one of condo she lived in.
Hitoshi Inoue (Santa Monica, CA)

April 12, 2011
I did not know Jaenet, but I know Gae from sharing our love of joyful African Music. I'm wishing much love and support for you and your family as you mourn. I hope there will be healing and tender moments as you read the stories and memories that people will be sharing with you. The few stories I have heard make me wish I had known Jaenet too.
Alex Fischer (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
am one of Gerry Fried's sons and I wanted to send my condolences to you on your loss. I did not know Jaenet well, but she asked me and my son Jamie to act in her film and we spent 10 incredible days with her and the Eisenhardts in Denmark in the summer of 2009. Jaenet was struggling then, though we thought it mostly the burden of directing and producing a project with so much personal meaning for her, and did not understand the depth of her struggles. It was really a great life experience for me and my son and I'll always be grateful to Jaenet for bringing it about.
Jon Fried (New York, NY)

We were going to film an interview with me about the beginnings of the marimba bands in Santa Fe. We were in the SW room at the Main Library. I was nervous, but then Jaenet walked in and her smile lit up the room and I was at ease.
Susie Sonflieth (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
My memories of Jaenet-
We have lost a kind, beautiful spirit.
Jaenet was a star in the "Dear Diary Readings" of the early 2000s. The benefit for Santa Fe Film Festival was a group effort to support the Santa Fe Film Center; Looking much like the teenager whose diary musings she shared (her own), she presented a charming monologue. She energetically promoted the event. I got the feeling that she poured heart and soul into whatever endeavor she'd chosen.
When I think of Jaenet, I remember her lovely smile, especially the expression with which she presented a handmade silk scarf she'd made. A surprise birthday present!
Our lives were never closely intertwined, but I do recall being in a screenwriting class with her, held at St. John's College nearly a decade ago. Her scripts were engaging, witty and fast-paced. I only wish I'd been able to read the drafts-in-progress as they developed.
Thank you, Jaenet for bringing sunshine into my life. I cherish the time that we were friends.
Elaine Coleman (Santa Fe, NM)

April 11, 2011
my name is hitoshi. i met jaenet 1992 right before Christmas in Binghamton New York. i was student of Binghamton university. she came to Binghamton to help local ballet company for nuts cracker.
i was doing my film project. and i had little shoot in this dance studio. she helped me shooting my student film. since that year we kept in touch became close friend.
i just got this news that i am in shock. i called her left message not long ago.
i have 3 paintings she brought for her film shooting.
Hitoshi Inoue (Los Angeles, CA)

April 12, 2011
I first met Jaenet as a student of mine (in the dubious art of screenwriting) at - what was then called - the College of Santa Fe. She easily distinguished herself as a wonderful and insightful writer, as well as being a generous, gentle and thoughtful critic of her schoolmates' work in that class. It soon became clear to me that she loved the 'word', and for that alone she endeared herself to me beyond measure. Although Jaenet was, as some might put it 'not hard to look at', her truly prodigious beauty was found in her eyes which always radiated infinite warmth, great intelligence, and that indispensable humor that one finds in all the best, most humane people of this world.
As these dark times become less and less humane, I feel her loss perhaps more deeply: we could use more like her right now. Jaenet was clearly not just taking up space, she was filling it, with abundance, and perhaps more than she ever knew. I dearly like to think that I communicated something of this to her. I did help Jaenet (by way of, I hope, helpful suggestions) with a screenplay that I understand she had some hope of getting made. I felt that what she created was ten times better than the majority of films that get made these days. I wish I could have told her that as the movie world goes, the one thing they never seem to forgive you for is excellence.
The poet, Robert Frost, wrote a simple two line poem that has always haunted me: "We dance 'round in a ring and suppose, But the Secret sits in the middle and knows."
Dearest Jaenet, you are part of the Secret now; you ARE the Secret, and I believe that you now have the piece that comes with understanding. I firmly believe that it is a loving Secret. Let my modest love for you join with all the other loves sent to you from us, who still dance 'round in the ring. We will 'know' soon enough, and, when that time comes we will again look into the beauteous and humane humor in your eyes. Til then...
Christopher De Vore (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
Truly makes my heart sore to think of such a lovely not finding a different answer. She was so sweet to me = and I only wish we had had more time with each other. Beautiful, talented, funny, serious, hopeful, and will be missed by anyone who had the gift of meeting her.
Margaret De Vore (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
I was very saddened to see in today New Mexican that Jaenet had passed away. I did her DAR papers and she was so very excited to become a member of DAR, and then I never saw her again. She became very special to me while I was helping her with her papers. She told me about writing a children book and I have always intended to buy one. If it is still available can you tell me the name of it and where I might buy one as I would like very much to have a copy to remember her by.
I know you will miss her terribly.
The State DAR Meeting is this coming week-end and they always have a memorial service, I have contacted the Chaplain and we will light a candle in her memory.
Mary Ann Thornton (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
Behind Jaenet's impeccable manners was a big heart. Jaenet always made me feel that she was truly interested and curious about whatever I had to tell her.
Her engagement was total and she was a great listener. I will never forget the second-to-last time I saw her - we misplaced Gae in Flying Star and sat together for a good long chat. She was wondering about Brian's knee surgery and she listened intently.
Jaenet had a good sense of humor and was not afraid to laugh heartily.
Jaenet's kindness extended to all humanity. When the roofing crew redid her roof, she was present and gave them sodas, water and anything else she thought they wanted. Most people flee from the dirt and noise. Her concern was genuine.
I will never forget Jaenet's story about the butterfly who befriended her for several days. The butterfly sat on her shoulder! Have you ever heard such a story repeated anywhere? I have not. Nature recognized Jaenet's gentleness. Perhaps that is why someone described her as a beautiful butterfly. Her physical beauty was matched only by her inner kindness.
I am so sorry we will not be able to speak with Jaenet again or look into her blue eyes. I truly have the belief that she is finally at peace and has moved on.
Marcy Heller (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
I have been thinking about you. My heart goes out to you. All I can say is that we never truly know what goes through a person's mind and heart. We can't answer the WHY? I think that must be the hardest part.
Cindy Williams (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
My deepest condolences to you in your loss. She was a great and bright
spirit, perhaps not of this world. She no doubt missed Dartagnian; we
always talked about our dogs, the few times we talked, which never seemed
enough to me.
I just can't believe this has happened, and wonder if there was something
I could have said or done that might have changed this tragic story. I am
reminded of the Albright painting called That Which I Should Have Done,
But Did Not Do.
I used to get up really early on Saturday morning a few years ago, to hear
your broadcasts about literature on KSFR, and they were indeed so
If there is anything I can do to help vis a vis talking with you, please
let me know. My own mother took her life in 2006 at 83, and it is most
certainly the INEQUITY and UNFAIRNESS to the living will be what will
disturb you the most, I believe, but on the other hand, death is the dead
end of life for everyone, and sometimes we must appreciate that the person
made their own decision to leave this world, yet for what? Nothing better,
that is for sure.
I send my deepest condolences, once again. Please be so kind as to forward
this to her siblings, and of course, please consider it for the book.
Stephen Fox (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
I'm sure you will be flooded with lively mementos of Jaenet.
This summer my book TRUE BRIT is finally being published after at least 15 years of working on it. But I will never forget that it was Jaenet who voiced such enthusiasm for the partially complete manuscript that I continued working on it, continued believing in it, continued sending it out until it got a home!!
Her voice of support was so important and valuable to me. Her artistic vision was so strong, so clear. Not just for herself because I loved her books but for others too. As little as I knew her, I loved Jaenet and will miss her!!
Rosemary Zibart (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
I knew Jaenet from early days at Prep. Even took her to the 8th Grade prom. She had contacted me recently asking me and my brother Terry to star in her movie she had hoped to present at Sundance. Very sad. Love to you.
Ronald Ellis (Denver, CO)

April 12, 2011
i was so very very sorry to read about jaenet this morning. her passing will be a great loss to all who knew her. i remember her vividly as a very beautiful young girl both inside and out. my heart goes out to you and your family
Marilyn Fisher Trijonis (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
I am so sad. Jaenet took dance fitness classes at Studio East here in Santa Fe. I was one of her instructors. I am also an artist/illustrator and she bought one of my first pen and ink line drawings... .I always felt honored that she owned that piece.
I know she illustrated books. She was kind enough to encourage me when I was starting to show my work. She was so kind to share her own work. Her sweetness shown through her dance and her art and her innocence. I only wish I had known her into old age... ..blessings...
Christina Dallorsa Kortz (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
We danced with Jaenet in Moving People Dance Company's adult ballet classes. She was an exquisite ballerina, graceful, focused and talented. She danced with her heart. And, her body, petite yet strong, seemed designed for classical ballet the way some athletes are born for certain sports. I was stunned, when she told me, one day after class, that she didn't start dancing until the age of 26. "I loved it," she said with a grin. In class, she worked hard, setting a high bar for what could be achieved after the age when most dancers retire. When we learned this morning that she would no longer be dancing with us, we wept. We will miss her luminous and inspiring presence. We imagine that even now, Jaenet is dancing with the angels.
Lisa Hilboldt (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
I just want you to know that you forgot aunt when you listed the family. Robbie and I cared for her very much, as we also worried about her. I do not have any one thing I remember, just many small things, such as her visits, which were infrequent, but much fun, when she helped in the barn, very willingly, although she did not like horses, and the time we spent with her at Aunt Mary's memorial service, which was filled with laughter and jokes. I know she was sad, but she also managed to have fun, at least, with us. Those are my memories of Jaenet. She shall be missed, but, she has now found the peace she was unable to find within herself.
Janet Tad Beck (Ellicott City, MD)

April 12, 2011
The obituary was wonderful. Jaenet's spirit lives on and is very light now.
I can feel her buzzing around Santa Fe. I can see her as a very interesting
older woman. I truly believe we are all connected and our joys and pains are
felt and absorbed by all.
It is such a hard time in the world and Jaenet's death makes it all more
real for all who knew her. Everyone is so sad, understanding and upset on a
deep level.
You are a strong family and that kind of love is so beautiful.
Sally Blakemore (Santa Fe, NM)

April 12, 2011
This is Terri Beck, Michael Upjohn Beck's, wife/widow. I wanted to express my condolences for the passing of Jaenet.
She and I have the exact same birthday (year too). I'm sure we would have been good friends given the opportunity. Nonetheless, my family and I are sorry for your loss. She and Michael are in a better place.
Terri Beck (Ellicott City, MD)

April 12, 2011
It is with great sadness that I have read about Jaenet's death. She was a
beautiful child, brilliant, talented and gracious. She was my student in middle
school at Santa Fe Prep and I will never forget her. I was so taken by her
beautiful art and writing, and her strength of character. Her kindness is
exemplified in an incident which occurred later in her life. Mrs, Peggy
Elrington, wife of the beloved General Elrington who taught at Prep for many
years, ran into Jaenet a few years ago, perhaps at a grocery store. Jaenet
noticed that Peggy seemed a bit forlorn, and was wearing a coat that had seen better days. Much to Peggy's surprise and delight, a beautiful new coat arrived one day at her door, courtesy of Jaenet. This lovely gesture is probably one of many, most of which you will never hear anything about.
I send you my deepest love and sympathy. You and Jaenet will be always in my prayers.
Marie White (Santa Fe, NM)

April 13, 2011
Jaenet's group of girlfriends from ballet class send sympathy. We all miss her wonderful spirit, kindness, beautiful dancing and her presence very much.
Nancy Reyner (Santa Fe, NM)

April 13, 2011
I was friends with Jaenet in high school at Prep and we were both back east at college during the same time. I will never forget her perky morning announcements when she was student body president. She also came to visit me in Washington, DC when she was at Hampshire and we commiserated over freshman girl issues at college and she made me see that Washington wasn't such a bad place after all. The last time I saw her, we were about 30 and I was about to marry a Californian and she was planning a life of ballet. She had found her true love in life and I am happy to read that she continued it for many years. She always did what others feared and didn't let other people's preconceived limitations stop her. I think we were both inspired by our teacher Stuart Bernstein who made us all stronger. I am very sorry for your loss.
Martha Quick Putnam (Woodside, CA)

April 13, 2011
Gae & Lars,
Our deepest sympathy go out to you.
Audrey Gonzales (Rudy Marquez), Eric Marquez and Joe Marquez, Jr.

April 13, 2011
Jaenet will be terribly missed. There was an awful feeling of loss today, as we looked over and found her usual spot at the ballet barre empty. She brought so much beauty, wit, and joy with her to class. We miss you, Jaenet. May you rest in peace. Love, from the girls.
Jennie McGee (Santa Fe, NM)

April 13, 2011
I am heartbroken to hear about Jaenet. The world is a poorer place without her. I can't relate details given the constraints of confidentiality, but I will say she could tell some hilariously ribald stories about some unfortunate ex-lovers, stories that I remember to this day, and that still make me laugh.
My condolences to you and your family.
Avelina Bardwell, MD (Santa Fe, NM)

April 13, 2011
Thank you so much for writing back. It gives me a connection . . . I almost feel guilty for saying that, drawing comfort from you at a time when you must surely need it yourself. I am sure you are busy with responsibilities and have other messages to return.
I want to say that I appreciated how you wrote the obituary, the words from the family, the candor about the depression. It might help others, and all too often it's treated like something unnatural. I knew all too well how it shadowed her, but I also knew her sunshine - her funny, goofy, playful, witty, whimsical side.
I like that tiny photograph, with the sunlight caught in her hair. That was one of the first things I noticed about Jaenet, all those long, bright curls. Is that a flower next to her? I would love to have a larger copy sometime, even digital, if possible?
She invited me over to see your new kittens - that's one of my earliest memories of spending time with her. They were up in the loft of your barn (I think?) at the house on Old Agua Fria. We played with the kittens and talked and laughed and were sometimes quiet.
I hope these memories aren't painful for you. Please tell me if they are. I know you must feel compelled right now to wear a strong face, no matter what you're going through inside, but maybe it helps to hear how much brightness your daughter brought to another's days.
With Love and Kind Wishes,
Montelle Clark (CA)

April 13, 2011
I just learned about Jaenet! Please accept my sincere sympathy in your loss.
She was always delightful and sweet and upbeat and I will miss her!
I knew her for a year and really had no idea that she was so depressed,
as she always came with a bright smile despite her obvious pain.
Sally L Harris, MD (Albuquerque, NM)

April 13, 2011
While I have few memories of Jaenet, I will always remember our time in Orlando from a couple of years ago. My last memory prior to that recent time was when I was eight years old, so I was especially excited to see her as an adult.
I remember being inside the airport with our brother, Jon, waiting to see her again for the first time. We were wondering, "Will we be able to pick her out from the crowd?" Sure, we had seen recent pictures of her, but it had been almost 25 years, and it's hard to know how you'll respond in such a situation. Sure enough, we saw her and immediately knew it was Jaenet!
We had some great days together during her trip here, sharing of ourselves and learning about each other for what felt like the first time. While we had exchanged cards and emails on occasion, here she was in-person; something I wasn't quite sure as to when it would happen again. We only scratched some of the surface of the previous two-plus decades of our lives, but I am grateful to have that time together.
I guess the hardest part (for all of us) is that we just wish we could have known her just a little bit more. There are some things I'll never fully know about Jaenet, but I will take with me the spirit that continues to radiate love to all of us. The free spirit that lives to teach us to always do things according to our own, inspired way.
Thank you, Jaenet. We love you!
Christopher Guggenheim (Orlando, FL)

April 13, 2011
Be assured whenever I pick up my Herman and Poppy book I will be remembering Jaenet.
I was fortunate to have made friends with Jaenet when you were at April's. She was indeed a very special and talented young lady.
I have many fond memories of times we planned the Barn Kitty book and The Chapel Mouse book.
June Kirkpatrick (Santa Fe, NM)

April 13, 2011
How devastating for you and your family to bear Jaenet's death. I shall always remember her and her absolute delight with her book signing when Herman & Poppy first came out, her almost glee when signing her books for the children. And, if I remember correctly, doing a story time with me at the store. It was always wonderful to see her and you at so many of the book events around the state's book world venues. The books by children and for children lit up her wonderful smile - and her amazing illustrations for Grow, Grow, Grow made me smile. She will be missed in the book world of which she was so much a part.
My heart grieves for you and your family. Prayers, and thoughts go to you at this most difficult time.
Ruthie Francis (Albuquerque, NM)

April 13, 2011
I am so sorry to hear this news and offer you my sincerest condolences.
The most beautiful memory I have of Jaenet was when we were working on the initial fazes of
"When I am Big" and when she sent me several clovers [4] to include into one of the pages of the book for good luck.
I am sorry for your loss and I send you strength, hope and love.
Suana Verelst (Canada)

April 14, 2011
I never met Jaenet but she was a voice of support and encouragement to my older brother who shared her love of art.
Her name was frequently interwoven into our conversations concerning his art (and art in general).
There is so little about her life that I know but there is one thing that I do know. Jaenet made a huge difference in the life of someone that I dearly love.
"Be kind to me and we will walk together. Be kind to those I love and I will carry you."
Danny Morrison (Chesapeake, OH)

April 18, 2011
I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with all of you. I know she has been searching for a peace she could not find for a long time.
Mara (Melton) Lujan (Santa Fe, NM)

April 18, 2011
Assassins blade, golden crescent
At night in the darkest hour
You suddenly arise in the sky
Like you suddenly arise within me
Like the last moon waning
But what is this strange feeling?

Weapon of destruction and war
Yet in the fields of labor and love born
Giver of life, harvesting tool
Bringing to all nourishment and food

And so we with each other sit
Locked not in stagnation
But silent and swaying conversation
An endless détente, or a chess game
With no fixed pieces and an ever shifting board

You are my feeling of sadness
You are my soulmate
Oh Georgia, what rare and unusual gift
To see the world as you saw it
Not in abstraction as have said so many
But rather through your eyes in your realism

I, however, cannot see the subject
For it is not fixed in a place
And there are too many voices
That drown out the clarity of my own voice
Even, sometimes, drowning my own thoughts

So I will keep walking past
Past the opened darkened doorway
Toward the east, knowing that soon
This moon will be but a memory too
I will walk toward the rising sun
Whose penetrating rays
Will propel me through another day
They can fix momentarily
The shifting cobblestones beneath my feet
There is a sun whose rays bring clarity of day

But if you only knew,
But only if you knew... .

Jaenet, when I last saw you by chance and we talked on March 27th, I never imagined it would be the last. And who would have? But there is a time and a place for everything in the universe though we may not yet know all of its mysteries...
Giacomo Zafarano (Santa Fe, NM)

April 19, 2011
Oh, Dear Jaenet!
I liked you and appreciated you so much. You are irreplaceable in this life - your light and talent and liveliness.
I miss you. I hope I'll see you again ... in the sweet by and by...
Richard Polese (Santa Fe, NM)

April 19, 2011
I remember growing up with Jaenet. We would ride horses together with Maire and jump on the trampoline in the basement room with Peter Max posters in Englewood, NJ and played in Bill and Judy's back yard. I always had a crush on her.
Later in life I spent time with her in Santa Monica, CA and the Los Angeles area when she attended USC. She had a special walk with almost a little jump or skip in it. I thought she was so much like her Dad. Her mannerisms were so like Bill's. She was beautiful.
Jaenet was brilliant and I last chatted with her via email a year ago when I was traveling across the country. I so wished I had been able to visit with her at her ranch. We had talked about riding horses there for years and it never happened. Now she is gone.
Life is so fragile and so precious. It makes one pause and remember to stop and smell the roses and make more time for the things that will really matter on an epitaph.
May we all be the light at the end of the tunnel for those around us.
God Bless you Jaenet and everyone,
James Taylor (Orlando, FL)

April 21, 2011
Jaenet, you were such a beautiful and talented woman, with such a beautiful spirit. So many things I wish I could have said to you. I will miss you always.
~ Tim Buck, Santa Fe, New Mexico
Tim Buck (Santa Fe, NM)

April 22, 2011
I miss you always..... I miss sending you my pictures.... I just miss everything........
Maire Guggenheim (Malvern, PA)

April 25, 2011
I just want to convey our sincere sympathies to Jaenets family. She came to our house in Virginia back in the early 1990's and we were fortunate to spend some time getting to know her. we were so saddened to hear of her passing.
Paul Munn (Amherst, VA)

May 07, 2011
It's such a small world. My husband, Marty, and I have been close friends with Jaenet's dad, Bill, since 1989. We cheered him on, while he meticulously did his After-Death Communications research for his superb book, "Hello From Heaven!" That book is a love letter to humanity.
We never met Jaenet, but we know of her love, kindness and generosity. When John Pepper, the son of our long-time (since 1972) closest friend's, Bill and Elva Pepper, suffered a life-threatening stroke, in Santa Fe, Jaenet opened her home for these strangers to live in, while she was studying film production in L.A. Jaenet's generosity allowed them to be with their son during John's dire illness, recovery and rehabilitation.
God bless you Jaenet Guggenheim! Thank you for loving people that we love! It is a small world! When we leave, all we get to take with us is the LOVE! You are missed!
For twenty-three years, we ran the Cincinnati Chapter of the International Association for Near Death Studies, IANDS.
Bill, Gae, Judy, Maire, Will, Jon, Chris, and all of Jaenet's loved ones, know your loss breaks our hearts. We are glad you were able to have such a beautiful LIGHT as Jaenet, in your lives, though the time was too short! God bless you all!
Valerie & Marty Chandler (Cincinnati, OH)

May 09, 2011
Jaenet was such a loving person. We met her because she heard of a sad event in her neighborhood, and immediately offered to help. The sad event was the massive stroke of John Pepper who lived just down the street from her. She was friends with John, Gillian, his wife, and Delia, his seven-year old daughter, and she immediately offered to help. John's parents, Elva and Bill Pepper (that's us,) needed a place to live in Santa Fe so that we could help Gillian and Delia deal with the after effects of the stroke. She offered us the use of her house while she went to California for a few months so that we could live near the family in Santa Fe and help out. It made such a difference to us to be able to be near them during such a difficult time, and we are forever grateful for her kindness and generosity. Bless you, Jaenet, for your loving spirit.
Elva and Bill Pepper

May 10, 2011
Dear Jaenet,
I was thinking about a dream I had the other night. It was a frightening & wonderful dream:
I was in a dark room room lying on the floor. I felt like I was vibrating all over. It felt like my heart was going to explode. I was scared. More scared than I have ever been in my life, I was terrified. I was going to die. How can you face the barrier of life and not hope to fight it? I was taken to a place where I was in a deep cave where there were spiraling stalactites, and stalagmites of wonderful colorful, like Oaxacan wood carvings. They were not really there in a physical sense. They were really more like vortexes of energy than anything else. I became aware of the presence of many indifferent beings. Dark and small, working among the forest of spiraling shapes. They are older than time, but there is no time here. Here, there is only eternity. A number of beings present themselves to me. They are like shadows of light. I am scared, they reach out for me, and I surrender. When they grasp me, I feel the most wonderful sensation of compassion and understanding that is like floating down a river, feet first, my body undulating gently in the soft rapids and I smile. At that moment, before I can take a breath and be terrified, I feel my hands and feet pulled in to the vortices and my physical body is pulled apart.
And then:
I'm so sorry you had to go. I am really sad for your family, and... I know that their sorrow is a reflection of the happines you brought them, but... now I know that there is a place where all that junk that we accumulate in a life time, is washed clean. We are loved, and I want you to always know and remember:
Andy Smith (Santa Fe, NM)

May 07, 2011
Dear Dear Jaenet,
my heart is so full of love for you and your family. You are now the light you brought to so many. Love , Love , Love to you....
Debrianna Mansini (Santa Fe, NM)

April 8, 2011
I did not know Jaenet well. We were in each other's company only two or three times. The longest of those was in Hong Kong in the early spring of 2008. Joy and I were staying there for the fall so that I could teach for a term at the Chinese University. Jaenet emailed that she was coming and wanted to get together with us. We met her and her companion in a restaurant at the top of the Peak Tramway, and had lunch on a very sunny day with a full view of Hong Kong's spectacular harbor. They were in the middle of a very strenuous trip around Asia, but Jaenet was as bright, full of energy and life, and eager to experience everything around her as if she had just emerged from a long rest.
She had a huge bag of equipment for a movie that she was making which included scenes in Hong Kong, and she asked us if we could be extras for a scene that she wanted to shoot on Luard Rd, a narrow street that is propped up on concrete stilts as it circles the Peak.. Joy had another engagement and left for that. I stayed to be a 20-second foreigner in Hong Kong in the movie. I was very nervous about doing something that I had never done before, and, being naturally clumsy, was afraid that I would ruin the whole thing. Jaenet was a terrific coach and very encouraging, and we got through it at least to the extent that she pronounced herself satisfied with the result. I was tremendously relieved.
Thinking that she would allow me to help carry her heavy bag, I suggested that we skip the tram on the way down the slope and instead take the paved walkway. Janet was enthusiastic, but she insisted on carrying the bulky and awkward bag herself. Once she had to sit down, but just for a moment to try to rearranged the bag to make it more balanced to carry and strode along expressing delight in all that we saw.
Someone who did know Jaenet well described her as a butterfly for whom the world was too hard. That seems just right. Jaenet was a great presence in a very slender body, and as she walked down that hill carrying a burden which must have weighed more than half her own weight she reminded me of the monarch butterfly in its extraordinary journey from the middle of the United States to central Mexico. All of the migrating species--from fish to birds to whales deep in the ocean and to tiny, fragile butterflies sometimes having to fly through the most threatening of weather--of necessity lead heroic lives. We who do not need to do that take their activity for granted. But in many ways what they do is a riveting testimony to the miracle of life. Jaenet gamely coming down that hill so burdened with her load and smiling and laughing all through it seemed a symbol of the best and strongest of the human spirit. She was indeed a monarch.
Zhuangzi (or Chuang Tzu), a profound Chinese philosopher of some 2,300 years ago, recounted falling asleep and dreaming that he was a butterfly. When he awoke, he wasn't immediately sure whether he had been a man dreaming that he was a butterfly or was in fact a butterfly dreaming that he was a man. The regular lives that most of us lead in accommodating to the hardness of the world exclude the possibility of there being a reality built for butterflies. Zhuangzi suggests, and even some Greek philosophers hint, that it is the Jaenets of this world who see more clearly, and that the world which they long for is the real one, while this hard to which we adjust ourselves may be just a product of our frenetic, goal-driven organized habits. Thank God we have butterflies.
Tim Light (Kalamazoo, MI)

May 10, 2011
I love you, I miss you. We had so many good memories together and so many more to come. I wish you were still here but I know that you are in a better place. Amelia misses you too. Please rest my lovely sister.
Galla Purwin (Tucson, AZ)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011 4:36 PM
Each day, I seem to need to remind myself that what I see is not what others see! My view of the world is defined by the unique ability of my eyes to take in images and the ability of my brain to interpret these images. How I see is also, colored by my emotional state when I am seeing and recording the images in my memory What looks "blue" to me may look completely different to you but we agree on calling it the same name!. When I am feeling "blue" that color may seem much more intense to me than the rosy colors that someone else sees. My story about Jaenet relates to this "How I see the World" concept.
Some years back, I visited Jaenet at her house to give her pointers on making videos and using a camera - my profession of 10+ years at that time. She had purchased a lovely new digital camera but was befuddled because the picture she saw in her TV from her recordings was different than what she saw in the camera monitor itself. It was still early in the digital transition and not yet well known that computer images and video images differ in their picture size. The digital camera records more than the analog TV shows - the whole frame is extended beyond the TV screen. Here was a case of "How I see the World" is different. I explained that the videographer had to adjust their framing of the images they want to capture to compensate for this difference. I watched as she very carefully marked her monitor screen boundaries to include just what was seen on the TV.
When I recently, learned about Jaenet, I thought back on this time with her. I realized that I had no idea what her personal "camera" saw and recorded of her life, my TV view of her was so very different. The "image" I had seen was much less than what she herself was seeing and living and her ultimate actions spoke to that difference.
Simple answers simply do not work when all the "facts" are not know and much as we may not like it, no one can know all the facts. Choices in life impact the individual and impact the world of the individual. Jaenet's gifts will extend beyond her life and the understandings gained from knowing her, no matter for how limited a time, will be carried by others throughout their lives.
She inspires me to be grateful for all the joy I have and to be kind on myself when I cannot feel that joy inside. She caused me to think about the feelings I have had of "it is too much for me to bear" and decide that at those times. I need to reposition my personal recording camera so I can find a different view to frame and focus on to give me joy.
Thank you, Jaenet.
Laureen Pepersack (Santa Fe, NM)

May 13, 2011
Jaenet, I will never forget our last time together alone, at the lakeside here in Florida, side by side sitting against the same tree, with Daisy nearby off-leash, lounging in the sun. We went back in time with our mutual memories and healed some silly misunderstandings we had carried, but more importantly made peace with our wounds. We cried together out of gratitude, and we spoke of dreams and plans for our futures. It was the most wonderful reunion I could have asked for, precious Jaenet. Your heart and my heart were as One for that very special moment in we can reignite that whenever we choose...I'll be with you always and ever, with love, Judy PS: Have no doubts that I'm watching over your Dad. See you in my dreams, darling.
Judy Guggenheim (Longwood, FL)
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May 13, 2011
Jaenet was my best friend and teacher. She taught me more about compassion and forgiveness than anyone could. I miss our hikes in the mountains with our dog D'av. I miss our talks. I miss watching movies over and over again. I miss you waking me up at 2:00 in the morning to talk because you can't sleep. I miss doing art together. I miss helping you with your movie. I miss gardening together. I just miss our time and life together. I love you. You will always be my best friend and teacher. xoxoxo
Frank Vandiver (Santa Fe, NM)
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May 13, 2011
My Eloise. She was, and is, the love of my life.
Joseph Dane (Los Angeles, CA)

April 14, 2011
MY condolences to you - and to all - my dear Cousine..., and some thoughts to share w/all
I was going to sign a hard copy, and left my name off the letter which does not appear on the attachment I'm sending here, instead. Will you please add my 'Tico' onto it for me, thanks
Tico Embury (Denver, CO)

April 14, 2011
It is so sad to hear that you have left us Jaenet. I will miss you....... you were as gentle as the rain.
Now you and D'Artaegnan will be able to share your love and time together. Hugs & Kisses to you both.
always my love
Kimberly Nesselhauf

April 14, 2011
I was Janet's friend many years ago.
We were both in our teens, she was my friend, confident, and I truly loved her. I lost touch with her when she was sent away to a privete school, possibly a rehab facility, I have had her in my thoughts for the last 30 years and only saw her once on the Plaza....she was studying balllet.
I saw her obituary today and am in shock, she was a beautiful whimisical soul, the planet will suffer her loss.
I have everything she ever gave me I just don't know where it all is, I have found a picture and the lyrics to a song she loved (in her hand writing) i would like to share these with you. I don't have a printer or a scanner, if you can tell me where I will bring them to you. The picture and the lyrics bring tears to my eyes.
I hope to hear back from you, my heart is breaking and I want people to know how special and beautiful she was.
Randi Lee Finlayson (Santa Fe, NM)

April 14, 2011
I did not know Jaenet. But I want to thank you for the obituary you put in the New Mexican. My sister died March 24, also after a long history of emotional issues that have left everyone wrestling with many emotions. We also have not arranged a funeral service. Your words have struck close to home.
I'm sorry you are facing this sadness.
Helen Sobien (Santa Fe, NM)

April 15, 2011
~Jaenet was my best friend and teacher. She taught me more about compassion and forgiveness than anyone could have.
I love you, you will always be my best friend and teacher of life.
Frank Vandiver (Santa Fe, NM)

April 15, 2011
The Comedic Sprite
I first met Jaenet at a KSFR pre-fund raising pep rally. Jaenet co-hosted the Green Knees program and I co-hosted Gotta Dance. She quickly introduced herself to me, a sprite of friendliness. She wore a baseball cap, rag-a-muffin sweatshirt, old jeans and toted a University of Southern California bag. She relayed how after 360 college credits, she had finally gotten her Film degree there. We talked about our love of dance and how we should make plans to dance, but her ankles were inured so that would have to wait. But, I saw a beauty behind her bohemian, film-director appearance.
A year late we finally made our first dinner and dance date - to celebrate Mardi Gras. As I arrived she walked into her living room wearing a stunning, black mini-skirt dress. She was so beautiful I was temporarily left speechless. I was never so proud to be with a woman in my life as I was that evening. After a dinner at Los Mayas, listening to Spanish guitar music, we headed to the Tin Star Saloon to celebrate and check out our dance chops. After one dance each of us were amazed at how good each other was. The next day she told me she felt like Ginger Rodger and I was Fred Astaire.
Thus, began our personal and dancing relationship. Other dancers had described me as the most creative male dancer in Santa Fe and Jaenet was the most creative dance partner I'd ever had. We clicked into a dance partnership the likes of which hadn't been seen before in the City Different. As one of my dance buddies said "You better hold onto her, because she's the best dance partner you've ever had." And I did my best hold onto this lovely sprite.
Jaenet was infamous for her sense of humor and it often came out on the dance floor. While dancing at the Eldorado Hotel one evening, I let Jaenet go to do a little solo dancing while I did the same and she immediately scooted behind the other dancers on the opposite side of the dance floor and commenced to play a game of "Dance Hide-and-Seek" with me, not letting me catch her. As we each parried around the dance floor all of the other dancers and band members had smiles on their faces or were laughing at the comedy dance enveloping around them.
Another evening Jaenet was looking particularly alluring and affectionate as we had the whole the dance floor to ourselves at La Fonda and Jaenet was in great form. Three guys from Dallas were sitting next to us and we struck up a conversation with them, and they all said how much they enjoyed watching us dance, which meant the really enjoyed watching Jaenet dance. As they left La Fonda one of them came on to the dance floor and told Jaenet "You are the sexiest woman in Santa Fe County." And he was right. After that I would periodically remind Jaenet as having been designated the sexiest woman in our county.
One evening we were dance-hopping and ended up at Evangelo's. One of my favorite dip moves, only done with a dance partner I know well, is a table dip where I lay my dance partner on a table and run my had down the middle of her chest. After I had done his with Jaenet I pulled up and she had her hand over her mouth in both embarrassment and to mask her laughing. She kept holding her hand over her mouth and laughing as we sat down. The laughter continued so long she asked if her blue mascara had run. I told her it hadn't.
Always on the path to maintain her maximal beauty, I volunteered to take Jaenet in for some plastic surgery. We stopped at Whole Foods first where Jaenet picked out some fruits and vegetables, but spent considerably more money on a variety of beauty products.
After the minor procedures I drove her home in my Jeep and parked about two feet from the curb. It had snowed recently and the melting snow created a rivulet and posed a problem for Jaenet as she was about to exit the Jeep. She didn't want to plop her shoes in the running water, so she grabbed the inside top of the Jeep and then reached her legs out to the curb. Unfortunately, she had left herself in a reverse-bowed position like a bridge, which is where I found her when I walked around to open the door. Only Jaenet could make a comedic sculpture out of getting out of a Jeep. She was a bit shocked when I had walked through the rivulet in my boots, but I said "That's why you wear boots." With that I put my hand in the small of her back and got her out of her contortioned position to the safety of terra firma.
Jaenet was always the comedic sprite whenever an opportunity presented itself. And my initial sighting of that beauty beneath the rag-a-muffin clothes proved to be true. And beautiful memories, in turn, were made.
Randy Forrester (Santa Fe, NM)

April 15, 2011
You lost a beautiful child and we are all devastated over your terrible loss.
I think of you, dear Jaenet, coming out of the North Sea after challenging the huge waves of this rough sea, exhilerated and vibrant, and I think of our trip together with your equally beautiful sister Maire up the largest sand dune in Lønstrup, Denmark, in stormy weather with sand closing our eyes, and you Jaenet filming the remains of the old church on the way - only good memories also from way back, when you spent some time with us all here in Denmark, when you were younger. We will miss you, and we will all keep you in our hearts.
Charlie, Juan, Midge, and Mie Sprague/Pedersen (Lønstrup, Denmark)

April 15, 2011
I am so sorry to hear this news, I will keep you all in my heart and prayers.
I am a dancer and painter here in Santa Fe. I met Jaenet in one of my dance classes. It was so cool to watch her move, she was such a graceful and creatively expressive dancer, I instantly could relate to her! I am that way, too, and I think this world needs more of us!
In dance classes you don't speak, you just move, so we really never spoke much, except that when I had a showing here in town of my impressionist paintings, Jaenet was there at the opening.
She happened to fall in love with one of my plein air pieces entitled," Nemo's Ridge".
The painting is so-named for my beloved Plott Hound, Nemo, who, as a puppy, chased golden floating leaves (hunted them, really-he was surely a huntin' hound!) down the Galisteo Creek while I painted. Nemo's Ridge is a painting of the Galisteo Creek in winter....I put my easel right in the snow and painted the beautiful light as it lay on the red mud canyon wall, just above the frozen creek. Jaenet told me that she used to run her dogs in the Galisteo Creek, too, and that she knew it well.
Well, Jaenet bought this little painting, and when I delivered it when the show came down, we got to talking. We are both dog-lovers, and she told me about the new rare breed spaniel (I believe they were spaniels?) that she was planning on getting. I told her all about Plott Hounds and Leonbergers, two of the rare breeds I have been privileged to rescue.
She showed me her fabulous children's book that she had written and illustrated, and I knew we were kindred artist-spirits. She insisted that I have a copy. She was so shy to tell me/show me, I was really touched that she gave me one.
She didn't come to class that often, but one of the last times I saw her was at Studio East, and she was all excited about her new movie about the violin...she was reluctant to tell too much of the story, which I can relate to-you don't want to dilute the magic of creation by discussing it too much before it is manifested here- but she was excitedly on her way to Japan and Sweden, tracing the journey of this violin for her movie.
I was thrilled for her too, as artists we appreciated one another. I am also a musician, a pianist/singer with a classical mother played chamber music, and when I grew up I played rock/blues/jazz stuff. So the lovely idea of tracing a violin's life through the ages made sense to me. I really hope she finished her movie!!!!!
I believe our world needs it's artists to remind us of the grace and beauty that is inside of us all. I am happy I knew Jaenet, and I am sorry that we have lost her so soon.
My friend Jaenet, I have been dancing my dances and sending them up to you, in your honor. I dance for your lightness and freedom and happiness, for your whimsy, for your beautiful shining spirit, for you to fly away and be happy.
Madina Croce (Santa Fe, NM)

April 16, 2011
We all always looked forward to seeing Jaenet when we saw her name on our schedule, I guess me especially since I had a bit of a crush on her all these years.
Leslie La Kind, DDS (Santa Fe, NM)

April 16, 2011
I did not know. I am so sorry, Gay. I didn't know her struggle was so strong. Jaenet was a bright, creative person who was always concerned with my well-being when we were together. She had so much love in her heart for you Gae and showed it every moment we shared.
Donna Jay (Santa Fe, NM)

April 16, 2011
We were so sorry to hear of Jaenet's passing. We have so many fond memories of her from many years ago when
A Perfect Pet was published by Azro, under the inprint of Green Knees - Green Knees' first. Jaenet , as our Madeline's editor, was like a big sister to her as she worked with her to refine the book for publishing. I recall many fun lunches, the book launch at Santa Fe Festival of the Book, book readings and signings at various book stores, and lots more, I remember the day she had us to her house and showed us the dummy, complete with a Library of Congress Card Number. She put so much time and energy into helping Madeline, a 4th grader at the time, understand all of the steps involved in publishing a book, and made her feel like a J.K. Rowlings... She was a sweet, authentic and highly creative woman. While Principal of Carlos Gilbert, I remember her leading writing workshops for students and parents at our annual "Celebration of the Arts" parent evenings. I also recall the day a few years ago, when I received a telephone call from Jaenet to make arrangements to deliver cases and cases of beautiful books for our children attending high poverty schools. Her heart was huge and she was beautiful.
I hope Jaenet has found peace and I hope you and your family are somehow finding it as well.
Denise, Jim, Madeline, and Alice Johnston (Santa Fe, NM)

April 16, 2011
Thank you for writing back, for letting me share a few memories, for your kind inquiry about my own life. I wish I knew more about Jaenet's recent years. I tried to keep track of her a little by occasionally checking the brief bio on the Azro Press website and through fragments on the internet. I worried about her, but I think I was mislead by the appearance of activity - the books, the film studies, the dancing. She seemed to be getting along with her life. Still . . . I was uneasy. I didn't want to intrude.
More than once I tried so hard to reach her. Brief, sweet conversations on the phone. Painfully sitting in a restaurant well past the appointed time. A couple of years ago I went to the house on Gomez and knocked on the door, peaked in the windows. When I was in Santa Fe this past January I wondered whether I might bump into her, maybe at Whole Foods or Trader Joes or Collected Works. With my mother living back in Santa Fe now, I'm in town 3 or 4 times per year. I knew there would be another chance, another opportunity.
A favorite memory: we had been out somewhere, probably dinner and a movie, and we came back to the house. I think your guest house was built by then, but we wanted something to drink so we crept into the main house, trying not to disturb anyone, and Jaenet fixed us herb tea, lemon I think, and we sat at the table, whispering.
It feels so clear in my memory.
Montelle Clark (CA)

April 17, 2011
I am devastated. I love her. She was the love of my life. I will never stop writing about her.
Joseph Dane (CA)

April 16, 2011
Lisa and I just wanted to express our condolences. We used to host a gathering of screenwriters at our house in Santa Fe, of which Jaenet (whom we knew as Gigi) was an integral part. What a lovely, creative, supportive and honest soul she is. We were greatly saddened to learn of her passing.
Jack and Lisa Copeland (Marfa, TX)

April 18, 2011
I want to express to all of you my how sorry I am that Jaenet felt such a strong desire in her soul that she had to go this way, I do know that her fight was long and hard and her pain was deep.
I know she searched for so many years for answers and put on such a wonderful front when she could, but nobody really knows that kind of pain and sorrow except those who suffer it the most.
I won't dwell there, what I would like to share with you is what Jaenet gave to me. Jaenet always let me know that I had the ability to go further in life when we were younger, and I was a single teen mom and didn't know what in the world I was doing. She helped me understand that I was not dumb, that I could get an education and that I could go to college and make something of myself. She helped me believe in me. She was so smart but she never would allow me to say that I was not as smart as her, she would just tell me that I could do what ever I wanted to.
Another thing that is important is that she always kept us in balance between what was right and doing the right thing.
I will always be grateful for having her in my life for the short time I did and I am forever thankful to your whole family for the love, guidance, and support you gave me and my son in those early years, it truly made all the difference in the world.
Mara (Melton) Lujan, LMSW (Santa Fe, NM)

April 18, 2011
I know she talked about me to you, but probably so obliquely that you have no reason to remember. I teach English at USC and I've known her since her first year at USC. We were briefly a couple, then became friends and I have been in touch with her constantly, almost daily since then. I saw her only once or twice in the past few years, when she came to Los Angeles. Then once more, disastrously, this last Thanksgiving. She has always inspired the most extreme emotions in me; I love her more intensely than anyone I've known. And that made it impossible for me to help her recently when now it seems so obvious she needed me to help her. I have a memoir coming out in a week or two (I'm told); it only once mentions her directly, but in many ways, it all about her; when I read from it last week, not knowing what had happened, I added a short section about us which she helped me write--it is thus the best part.
It is really hard for me to imagine life without her.
Joseph Dane (Los Angeles, CA)

April 18, 2011
Dear Jaenet,
Wispy golden hair radiating joy, kind smiles, playful childlike imagination with an adult's wisdom - all will live forever fresh in my memory. Thank you for sharing your life with us and for leaving your books for us to cherish.
Affectionately, Ssu
Ssu Weng

April 18, 2011
Oh, Jaenet, Jaenet, Jaenet...
I'm just going to save that bottle of wine and insist on dancing with you
again in our next lifetime. No need to worry about you anymore- I already see
you practicing pirouettes with the angels.
Sweet Lady G., you touched me deeply and are profoundly missed.
Tom Forrest (aka Fyre) Broadley (Santa Fe, NM)

April 19, 2011
I am sorry for my scattered thoughts in this e-mail but having these things of Jaenets and reading over so many of her e-mails where I asked her to start editing Great Danes so she would know what she had and what she needed or just giving her technical advice mixed with her constant praise and encouragement of my work has really brought this home for me. I had kept everything at a safe distance locked in a small closet in the back of my mind, probably why I could not come up with a memory or a quote for you.
So here it is
Graceful, Beautiful, Brilliant, Uplifting, Encouraging, Gentle, Kind and Exhausting. you were either out of breath from trying to keep up or drained from having carried water to calm a fire.
I remember one morning not long after Andre was born. I had gotten up at "oh god its early" to change him and I heard my e-mail ping. It was a note from Jaenet, She was having a problem with her editing program. I grabbed the phone and called her.
"Hello? Mark?"
"Why are you calling me, you have a new baby you should be sleeping"
"I'm calling to tell you to go to bed,"
"I cant, final cut isn't working. its not doing what its supposed to and I need to make this conversion"
"and in a few hours it still wont be working but you and I will both have fresh eyes and I can talk you through it then. Call me when you wake up"
"Ok but you should be sleeping you guys just had a baby"
"Dont worry he is why I was up to get your e-mail"
"But you didn't have to call so quick"
"Yes I did because i cant explain it to you when your this tired and you would have not slept until I did"
"Ok your right, now I can sleep cause I know you can fix it"
She had posted the problem the day before on a forum I recommended to her. I had seen that someone had tried to help her out. Knowing Jaenet I knew she had been up trying to make it work for at least 16 hours, She didn't want to bother me so soon after andre was born.
Mark Alkiewicz (Marlton, NJ)

April 19, 2011
Darling Jaenet, I love you and will always miss you . Gae, your dearest mother who will always be a mother to me, loved and cherished you always and that made me love you more. I knew you as a beautiful, talented, and unique woman whom I looked up to and wished I had those qualities.
I just wish I would have had more time to be a better friend to you. I hope you finally have peace and happiness in your next journey.
always your sister
Deia Waldren (Deya, Mallorca, Spain)

April 20, 2011
Dearest Jaenet,
It was in 1996 at my brother David and your sister Galla's wedding that I first had the pleasure of meeting you.
Do you remember: We spent the day before the wedding at the Biosphere? Looking back, it seems more than appropro=iate to have met a person as unique and intelligent as yourself in such a surreal and experimental setting.
It was s few years later when you moved to LA to attend USC cinema school that our paths intersected again.
At the time, my husband Charles and I were sharing a house with our dear friend John Dawson in Pacific Palisades. John was and important scientist int he field of plasma physics. You, dear Jaenet, were the only person I knew who, upon learning this, knew exactly what plasma physics was and could talk immediately about heat and the stars and fusion without missing a beat.
You had a creative mind, which seemed as equally at home in the arts an in science. When you came for dinner, we would talk forever about our mutual backgrounds in both dance and art - and our love of animals.
I remember you always infused your words with humor and charm. And for one so pretty and smart, you were humbly self-effacing.. Once I told you that John and Charles and I had tickets to an upcoming Bobby Short concert at UCLA's Royce Hall. Your face lit up and you said you loved Bobby Short and had seen him in NY many times. A few times you had met him backstage as well, and each time he had recognized you and remembered your name. You said this with utter astonishment, as if it had never occurred to you how utterably memorable you were.
I also want to thank you or the time we spent collaborating on "Night and Day," one of the short films you made at USC. Thank you for choosing me and my collages as the subject matter. Thank you for taking a chance on a slender story, rich in imagery. It was old-fashioned and contemporary. it was comical and poignant. It was sweet and cutting edge. It was a lot like you.
Much love always,
Patty Purwin (Santa Monica, CA)

April 20, 2011
I am very sad to hear this news. Jaenet was an acquaintance of mine, through mutual friends and because she would sometimes come to the dance studio I attend. She had a sweet smile and way about her, and we would exchange greetings and talk when she came to class.
I hadn't seen Jaenet for some time, and had assumed she found another studio or activity; I also saw less of our mutual friends, as they moved to other areas of town. But I am writing to express to you how beautifully Jaenet moved when she came to the studio, so very graceful and light in her bearing. I do not presume to know what she may have been feeling during class, but it was always wonderful to watch her dance.
Robyn Powell (Santa Fe, NM)

April 27, 2011
I was so very sad to read in the paper of the loss of your dear Jaenet. I met her in person only once, and many other times through her books, illustrations, and an interview in Tumbleweeds several years ago. Her name calls up a smile as I remember her gentleness, creativity and joy in her work, reflected most sweetly in her answer to the question, "What's it like to work with your mother?" with a robust "It's the BEST!" What a lovely answer! What a lovely gift to both of you to have shared your creative selves so intimately.
Claudette Sutton (Santa Fe, NM)

May 31, 2011
We have been so lucky to meet Jaenet in New Jersey, Santa Fe and Denmark over the last 36 years.
It has never been dull with Jaenet .- She made picnics for us in Santa Fe to Bandelier´s. And here in DK we made excursions to Skagen and Lønstrup.
Jaenet told about Lønstrup where she lived in the early seventies - that she did not like it at that time - now coming back she could not understand that - she thought it a most wonderful place to be and stay.
When Jaenet came to Vathøjgård to make the Danish part of her large film project it was a fantastic event and inspiration for all of us in Denmark. Arriving to Denmark Janet always had to sleep for a couple of days - and then she was ready. She worked so hard to get everything right and organized the way she wanted it.
"- The last time you were here you gave us a beautiful bowl handpainted by you - each time we look at it we are thinking of you and of all the good hours we have spent together. - We shall always miss you Jaenet. -"
Søren and Kirsten
Soeren Ian and Kirsten Friisholm Eisenhardt (Møldrup, Denmark)

June 02, 2011
Here's a tiny sort of haiku, that expresses about one atom of the love & esteem in which I hold Jaenet.
So, so glad she was in my life.
Haiku for Jaenet
Haze of honey hair
Radiant ballerina
Dance into the light
Carol Eastes (Santa Fe, NM)

June 02, 2011
Jaenet introduced me to you which was and is a blessing. I felt a warmth from the first moment I met you Jaenet - you are rightly described as a beautiful butterfly. I felt seen and appreciated by you which is in my mind one of the greatest gifts one can recieve from another. I in turn appreciated your artistic flair and delicate presence. May you find peace in your final journey home.
Pritama Gross (San Rafael, CA)

June 05, 2011
When I first saw GROW, GROW, GROW I was enchanted at the art and the gentle and delicate message expressed. Jaenet and her living child spirit inspired all of us who knew her. Sometimes the real world is too harsh for delicate souls. Jaenet left a wealth of stories and art for children and adults revealing how her soul expressed itself for others. Her true strength is her creativity. She lives in her books and photographs.
Sally Blakemore (Santa Fe, NM)

June 10, 2011
What a beautiful memorial it's like reading about light, reading about a life that touched so many. How many lives we touch and are not even aware of the importance of each meeting, yet here is the reminder.
I was just remembering giving a mini workshop with Jaenet on Writing and Illustrating children's books, we shared together our love for the written and visual word, storytelling. We played as we taught. She say something, I'd draw. Everyone has a story. I still use aspects of that workshop we did together today in my own art room. How blessed I was to meet you Gae and Jaenet and share a bit in Jaenet's light.
Roni Rohr (Santa Fe, NM)

June 10, 2011
Jaenet, You gave all of your books for my grandkids: You are so kind and loving. Peace be with you always.
Jill Jenkins (Santa Fe, NM)

June 17, 2011
Graceful, generous, talented, caring, ever creative and wistful!
To me, Jaenet trod lightly on this Earth; like a butterfly she would alight for a while spreading her infectious joy,then.... she was gone until her next presence with another ambitious project in the works.
I know she is still planning and creating--- I wonder what?!
Keep in touch, Jaenet!
Fran Dunbar (Santa Fe, NM)

July 24, 2011
I had a very interesting realization today. Dating Jaenet for three years, I am surprised that this was not the light I saw her in day to day - sad the things you miss. Jaenet truly lived life in THE moment. To her beautiful happiness and to her unfortunate end. She responded to her emotions in the moment she felt them. I guess the difficult times made that much harder to see and even harder for me to appreciate. The happy times blinded me to all else.
I find it hard to imagine anyone I have known who could be so happy. I am so blessed to have shared wonderful times and seen her curious mind and intellect at work and play. Writing, creating, learning and sharing those happy experiences.
I miss you and the beautiful times we shared.
Forrest Thomas (Santa Fe, NM)
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August 08, 2011
I am sorry I did not know of Jaenet's passing.
Let every breath you take be full of the joyful moments you spent with Jaenet and let every tear you shed water those joyful moments and give you new life.
John King (Santa Fe, NM)

September 30, 2011
Dear Jaenet,
My condolences to all who loved you. I cherish our brief encounter and even more our many email conversations, they were sometimes serious and sometimes hilarious. Thank you for this.
Please keep an eye on us.
Eef Peerdeman (Assendelft, The Netherlands)

November 03, 2011
Hi Jaenet,
Memories huh? hmm, it was a long time ago, like 30 years since Prep, well let's see...
I remember;
crazy blonde hair and light blue eyes,
a smile for a dorky clumsy new kid at school,
what adventure looked like,
a terrifying three wheeler (you would laugh to see me racing motorcycles now, God that thing terrified me! anyway...),
the sound only the dirt in Santa Fe makes under your shoes as we walked and talked for hours,
laughing...lot's of laughing.
That is my memory, things that will never leave me
God Bless You
Peter Couse (Albuquerque, NM)

November 06, 2011
As months pass by and Autumn emerges, I've been thinking of you often, Jaenet, and even more so of your dear mother, Gae. Life will never be the same for us as a family, but hopefully we will be able, in time, to honor your fleeing from this world's sorrows. As before, I hope to see you in my dreams, dear heart. Always and ever, Judy
Judy Guggenheim (Longwood, FL)
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November 13, 2011
Glittering, golden flower - My heart aches for your family, missing you so much.
Be Engler (North Fort Myers, FL)

December 04, 2011
Happy Birthday My Dear Jaenet.
Thinking of you on your birthday and everyday. I love you with all my heart. I miss you so much. May this day be wonderful and full of love for your family. Love always.......
Frank Vandiver (Santa Fe, NM)

January 23, 2012
I just learned about the heartbreaking loss of Jaenet from a colleague. My deepest sympathy goes to her family and loved ones.
I think it was in the summer of 2007 when I first met Jaenet. She came into the museum where I worked with this idea of writing a book about building an exhibit. She was pleasant but focused, and did a great job of selling her idea to the director. I had reservations about her project because we were already overloaded, but here was this bright young woman genuinely interested and wanting to do all the work. How could we not go along with her?
Jaenet showed up frequently from that point forward and quickly befriended all the key staff involved with the exhibit. She was always carrying a camera and notebook, taking what must have been thousands of photos. She asked lots of great questions that prompted lengthy answers (a paleontologist's dream) and made all the bit players in her book feel like they were vital. Her inquiries often bridged large gaps between basic and highly technical levels; I could see she was constantly working to consider things from her target audience's point of view.
By writing a book about the process instead of the product, Jaenet gave me a new perspective about my work. I'll always remember her for that, and for her sweet friendly nature. I saw her wonderful Triassic Hall book for the first time today and I will cherish it.
Robert Ungnade (Edgewood, NM)

January 23, 2012
Jaenet was the last major character I cast in my thesis film "Hopeless" (I was a student at USC Film School, having started a few years before Jaenet). The character, Kate, was the female lead, and had to be beautiful and appealing, yet vulnerable. Jaenet performed the role perfectly, and it was an easy decision to cast her.
It was a very fun production, laid back and relaxed with lots of good food, and Jaenet was a joy to work with. I remember so well her eyebrows' tendency to jump at unexpected moments, a quirk I'm not sure she was aware of and I was too embarrassed to mention to her. The eyebrows proved to be a bit of a challenge during editing but also perfect for a number of moments when they conveyed just the right emotion for the scene.
Jaenet and I spoke only occasionally after working together, but she was always very supportive of the work I did, and even got me in touch with some producers she knew to discuss my career. I'm glad I have "Hopeless" to remember her by.
Benjamin Friedman (Santa Monica, CA)

April 05, 2012
Today I am remembering Jaenet today...her beauty still radiates in my heart and home, all the more now that she is in a special realm of Light and Love. Always and ever loving you, Jaenet.
Judy Guggenheim (Longwood, FL)

July 25, 2012
We met at St Johns, 1985. Jaenet was a wonderful friend. We both left Santa Fe in 1986 and were penpals, but lost touch after a few years.
I so wish I had been able to stay in touch with her bright light. She was a sweet soul with so much music and laughter that she was always bursting into dance. . . . Miss you much!
Cathline Taub (Bridges) (Aurora, CO)

September 23, 2012
I am saddened to hear of Jaenet's passing and the painful loss to her family. Many years ago, Jaenet and I lived in the 3HO Sikh ashram in Tucson. We were both seeking balance in our lives, and a closer relationship and better understanding of the Divine. She was a lovely, quiet, bright and ethereal person. God bless her.
E. Johnson (Oxford, MD)

December 05, 2012
Your birthday. 5-10 years ago, I filled my crappy apartment with balloons and crepe paper to celebrate, as you insisted. You said it was the happiest birthday you ever had.
Joseph Dane (Los Angeles, CA)

January 16, 2013
I knew Jaenet in Santa Fe while I was attending St. John's College--we were taking a ballet class together. This was 1985/86. I loved her deeply and we would spend hours together. I was in awe of the stacks of books--mostly physics and math--that she would check out, read, study, and learn. She was the most beautiful, brilliant woman I have ever met, an angel, barely tethered to this world. Ours was a too-brief but intense friendship that would end when she was hospitalized and she thought it best we break off contact. I have always wondered what happened to this angel in my life, and I'm so sad to see she lost her battle. I remember sitting in the bathroom and talking for hours while she soaked in the bathtub, one of her favorite things to do because was always so cold! And eating a meal together, or dancing, or just sitting in her room talking. I think about her often. She haunts me. I truly loved her. I wish I could tell her that I actually healed many of my own wounds, have a family, and feel.... happy.
Lisa Hopkins (Florence, TX)

January 17, 2013
Thinking of you! Missing you!
Maire (PA)

April 05, 2013
It is hard to believe that two years have passed. Jaenet, thank you for leaving your books for us to share. We miss you.
Ssu Weng (Santa Fe, NM)

April 14, 2013
Dear Jaenet, still a big loss for many, still in our hearts. Every time I read one of your books you sent with my son a little star brightens up at the sky.
Eef (The Netherlands)

February 20, 2014
To whomever has posted this memorial. I was a teacher of Jaenet's at USC. I didn't know she was troubled, I didn't know she had passed away until today (2/20/14) when another student sent me this link. I want to tell her parents that Jaenet was a joy to have as a student, and a bright spot in my day when I came to USC to teach. She was bright, engaging, and a good writer. I liked her very much. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Fred Rubin (CA)

February 22, 2014
I'm writing to you today as I just discovered Jaenet's passing. I'm so, so sad at this news. I was head Teaching Assistant at USC whilst she was there, and remember teaching her sound editing, sound recording, and final mixing on the very complex Euphonix machine. She was always enthusiastic and every eager to learn. Of all the graduate students, I remember her most clearly to this day. Partly because of her academics, but also because I believe there was a spark between us born from long hours in editing and mixing. However, being the weak person that I am, I was too intimidated to act. It is one of my most sorrowful regrets to this day.
In memory always,
Wes (CA)

April 5, 2014
Dear E ... Love, J.
Joseph Dane (Los Angeles, CA)

November 5, 2014
I went to USC film school with Jaenet. She was down to earth and had the kind of spark that I associate with creative people. I always enjoyed chatting with her & regretted not keeping in touch with her better after graduating. Periodically I have searched for her online. I'm crushed that today this is what I found - her memorial page. My heart goes out to her family and close friends. Jaenet was a lovely and beautiful person.
I'm very sad to learn that she is gone.
Heather Lenz (CA)

December 5, 2014
Your birthday, on a day when this space always appears empty.
Joseph Dane (Los Angeles, CA)

January 5, 2015
I found out about Jaenet's passing back in February 2014. I didn't know what to say at the time, so I posted a smaller tribute to her on my Facebook page. Just today I was cleaning out my old books and found a copy of Grow, Grow, Grow that she gave me. Also, I have the first draft of her screenplay Great Danes. She was an awesome colleague and I miss her every day. Thanks for maintaining this site... all of our thoughts are with her.
Linus Lau (Los Angeles, CA)